Hey! You Forgot Your Jacket!! (an open letter to a real bombshell)

I am Writing this post because I am hoping that it will help someone, namely me.
So, here is what happened, I was out in my hood, Lebanon when I see this real hottie, I mean she was smoking. It was almost as if a bomb had gone off, Boom! you know? like when love hits you like a Lebonese Explosion, It can be a real shocker. Anyway things went down, and then there was an actual explosion (some car bomb no biggie) and long story short she left her jacket on top of this man who was "hurt". So I took the jacket and now I am searching for the love of my life. So If you're out there, my little coatless lebonese hottie, I hope this letter finds you with all your appendages.

Dear Lebonese Hottie:
hey... uh... whats up? you uh... look real nice... Burlap looks real nice on you... Oh Yeah I found your coat... so... your welcome... listen I was just wondering. Was it just me, or were you really knocked off your feet the other day? I mean I was Literally knocked of my feet, the moment we met, with love. To bad that car bombing got in the way of our destiny. war always fucks things up. first it was fucking up my country and now it's fucking up my sex life! that really gets my girdle. anyway call me if you get this about your coat.

with love (and your coat)
sakldfvknskmd kajlv (oops I sneezed,
lol)
John Smith